The Back Alley Archives

Dr. Lechter?

It's all part of my eighty dollar marketing ploy.

I hate scUM fans for their incredible lack of fashion sense, use of hair gel, and cicada-like appearances at games every few years. Fuck all of them.

AND by name. Delicious.

There's nothing like red-hot MACtion to bring out the worst in the Gators.

Watch it, or don't, but you risk missing out on zombie metal and a plot that is so sexy you'll wish you were wearing saran wrap pants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B75_jmkBvY

There's porn?

The Green Lantern was a greener version of Batman & Robin, which induced vomiting in audiences. Go fuck yourself, Joel Shumacher.

Rather than ask if there is a regulatory action coming, simply ask "Does this represent an opportunity to make the government bigger?", and you can predict the next step.

Fucking theft, that's what it is.

Gatorcountry is the one place that has caused me to meet, in person, a couple of people I would've punched in the mouth had we not been at a Gator function.

YOUR SCIENCE WILL NOT OUTGAY THE SODIUM.

Well, this is awkward.

"Thank you, Hans, you've been quite gentle."

Not that anyone missed me, but I'm back. And you'll just have to live with that.

Koresh, for all his faults, was apparently a pretty fair hand at woodworking.

Maybe we start infiltrating with "merkin" as well?

You know who you are.

That little shithead Cody von Trumpet player or whatever was like sand in my crack.

I am selling my Lowes stock. It is abysmal, but I didn't lose money because I bought it at a discount. Ok. So I have some money to play with, and I need tips for sources as I am new at stocks, have always been around real estate.

Mine is cleaner than any hoo-hah.

8-4, and it pisses me off to say it because they don't deserve to be 8-4.

I'd punch that fucker Shane in the mouth. And since Kyle has shown such a mean streak, I'm also going to lay off calling his mom from pay phones. It's for the best.

Who is she? I mean, other than a carbon copy pseudostripper?

...a gift that says you'll love him/her/him in ways that have never been seen before. I give you the necklace inspired by my new favorite film of all time, "The Human Centipede", which is so disgusting that it actually made me almost start to think about maybe looking away. You're welcome....