5 Upcoming Comic Book Movies That Must Be Stopped

[a1bion]

This is pretty funny. Sample excerpt regarding a movie that apparently is being made about the Thor comic book character:

Much like most bisexual East Berlin rave DJs, The Mighty Thor is named after an adjective and a powerful Norse god. The commonalities do not end there, however. Much like, say, "DJ Baldur the Funky Ramrod," The Mighty Thor also possesses radiant, flowing, shoulder-length blond locks, wears giant yellow go-go boots and a bright red cape, and most of what comes out of his mouth is an ancient, but powerful and masculine Germanic tongue.

The origin of the comic god goes like this: The arrogant Thor needs a lesson in humility, so his father Odin, the ruler of all gods, sends him to Earth in the form of a crippled mortal to teach him to be humble. When Thor finally learns his shits do stink, his mortal form dies off and he is allowed to become himself again.

This spiritual lesson serves to confirm two things: Being handicapped is God's way of punishing you for religious transgressions, and to the son of God, Earth is essentially a giant time-out where instead of facing a corner for five minutes you live a short, challenging life rife with confusion and pain until you are eventually allowed to die.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15679_5- ... opped.html

[DocZaius]

Thought I'd resurrect this old thread to see if the predictions were accurate.

1. Sub Mariner - Never got made, probably because he's boring.
2. Shazam! - Ditto
3. Luke Cage - Who?
4. The Mighty Thor - Turned out to be pretty good and a fine introduction to the character in advance of The Avengers. Thor II looks pretty badass as well.
5. The Green Lantern - Sucked balls. They had a literal universe of source material and made this as shitty as a comic book movie can be.

[a1bion]

I typed Luke Cage into Google and it gave me a suggestion of Luke Cage Movie so I searched for it. IMDB lists it as being in production.

[bluegrassg8r]

The Green Lantern was a greener version of Batman & Robin, which induced vomiting in audiences. Go fuck yourself, Joel Shumacher.