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Who holds grudges?

Juggs

Juggs

Moderator
Tomahawk Aficianado
Do you forgive people or hold grudges and they're dead to you if they "betray" you?

The guy who for a lack of a better word was my best friend for about 15 years...We worked together on the same projects, drank together, talked about marital issues, real personal shit, for many years. When I was fired from that job, I reached out to him. Never returned a text or a phone call. So fuck him, he's dead to me. Now 3 years later, he messages me on LinkedIn this morning. I'm curious, but afraid if I read it, I'll respond and tell him to eat a bag of dicks. But the rational side of me says to not burn bridges in the engineering community and ignore it altogether.

What would you do?
 
I left a date at a party once where he didn’t know anyone because some girls I knew invited me to go to the hot guy frat house. My roommates told me I needed to apologize to him and when I did he said he’d call me later and never did, so I felt glad I gave him a chance to blow me off. So maybe this is your shot
 
I know you’ve heard it a million times, but it’s fact, to us alcoholics, resentments are deadly, and I’m not saying you’re harboring a resentment, but the high road is to return his message. Nothing wrong with being forthright, and ask him why is he contacting you now, when he went radio silent 3 yrs ago. Oftentimes these situations are an opportunity to help someone, even though he was a dick when you were in need.
 
I still can get butthurt when someone doesn’t return a call/text/e-mail, and have learned to not let my actions follow my butthurtness, and most of the time it’s a good thing I didn’t act like a bitch.
 
Yeah that's not really a trigger for me. I write people off pretty easily and dont' think twice about it. I can not reply to him and I'll forget all about it in a week :lol:

Here's why I don't want to respond or even read it: I don't care what his reasoning was or why he's contacting me now. There's no excuse I'll read that will make me change my mind. I get where you're coming from with a 12 step perspective and I doubt he needs any kind of help, not that I would if he needed it. "Even though" isn't in my personality....I'll Stevie Wonder this bitch (an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind) :lol:
 
I hold a grudge like a motherfucker. One girl was mean to me in 10th grade and I am friends with her on fb just to see how sad her life has turned out.
 
I will hold a grudge for a while, but eventually, I'll mellow out.

Except for this one kid in kindergarten who stole a valentine that was meant for me. We shared the same first name (but spelled slightly different) and he took it, wouldn't hand it over even when I pointed out it was my spelling. I still remember that kid.

I found him on Facebook a couple of years ago and confronted him about it. He LOL'd at me and claimed he didn't remember that at all.

Fuck him. That was my valentine.
 
:lol: Every year my daughter has to take Valentines cards for the entire class even though she hates most of them I go on the same rant about these pussies who can't risk their feelings get hurt. Like there's a single kid in that class that doesn't know who are and aren't their friends.
 
I'm typically a forgiver unless you steal from me. Then, fuck you until the end of time.
 
I hired a woman as a receptionist, trained her for two years extensively to become a loan processor and then trained her in sales for a year and let her become a commisioned loan originator. I had about 20 realtors who were loyal to me that I turned over to her while I concentrated on builder business. Six months later she left me with no notice to open an office with another company and took those realtors along with two other employees i had trained. Never have forgiven her. She stole the employees by telling them i would go out of business in 6 months without her. I worked my ass off and took back most of the realtors and soon she was struggling and both employees and most of the realtors she stole left her. Karma hit her harder later on though as her son did the same thing to her 15 years later. And used her doing it to me as justification lol.
 
I have forgiven all that I know of, including the person who did heinous shit to me when I was 8. I do it for myself, not them, I don’t have the luxury of carrying that crap around. The major ones took a while, a few took a couple years, but I finally got to forgiveness. Yeah, that’s the 12 steps talking :lol:
 
Evil gator said:
I remember really struggling over giving the gross guys valentines worrying they’d like me ala Lisa Simpson
Click to expand...

Is this a yankee thing. Anytime this has come up with people my age, those from the north had to give them to everyone. Those of us in southern, particularly rural towns, it was only whoever the hell you wanted to.
 
Juggs said:
Evil gator said:
I remember really struggling over giving the gross guys valentines worrying they’d like me ala Lisa Simpson
Click to expand...

Is this a yankee thing. Anytime this has come up with people my age, those from the north had to give them to everyone. Those of us in southern, particularly rural towns, it was only whoever the hell you wanted to.
Click to expand...

It wasn’t a rule but my mom tried to make me a nice person. Also her class had like 15 people so that’s where she was coming from
 
Evil gator said:
Juggs said:
Evil gator said:
I remember really struggling over giving the gross guys valentines worrying they’d like me ala Lisa Simpson
Click to expand...

Is this a yankee thing. Anytime this has come up with people my age, those from the north had to give them to everyone. Those of us in southern, particularly rural towns, it was only whoever the hell you wanted to.
Click to expand...

It wasn’t a rule but my mom tried to make me a nice person. Also her class had like 15 people so that’s where she was coming from
Click to expand...
There was like 20 in our specific class, 60 in our entire 6th grade (the last year I can remember doing it)

And even though everyone got along and there really weren't bullies or outcasts, etc. at that point....come on, the cute girls got valentines and the fatties and uggos didn't. I didn't get the point in pretending. Giving someone a Vday card when you literally don't talk to them at all or worse, someone you clearly don't get along with. That's not being nice, it's being fake as fuck :lol:
 
Yeah I dream my husband does stuff like that or gambles away all our money and it takes me a few hours for it to wear off. I am usually a morning person a when I’m pissy he is like that was a dream
 
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