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Question for the brain trust

DocZaius

DocZaius

Lisan al Gaib
2024 Pick 'Em Winner
I coach my daughter's Under-8 soccer team. I know two things about soccer: jack and shit, but that's not really important for my question.

The girls vary in ability, but there's this one girl on the team who's really fat and as a consequence, slow and not very athletic. I feel really bad for her. I try not to treat her differently, but when we're practicing, she always lags behind and never has a chance to get the ball. None of the other girls are mean to her or anything, but it's obvious she's different and they don't really want to pair up with her when we do drills and such.

I can't just stick her in the goalie position, I feel like all the players need the chance to rotate through all the positions.

What do?
 
I mean it's an under 8 team and I'm assuming not really competitive. I'd rotate her around like you would anyone else unless she's too worn out to go back in.
 
Does she want to be there? Are the parents engaged?

If she wants to play and is in to it rotate her on defense and goalie.
 
Yeah, youth soccer when my kids played was non-competitive until age 15 or so. Every kid had to play a certain amount every game, and there were no win/loss standings or anything(we DID keep score though, not like some of the psycho soccer-mom leagues).
 
She's kind of quiet, I'm not sure she really wants to be there. I wouldn't want to be there either. Most of the other kids can at least keep up.

Her parents are engaged, but not overbearing. Dad looks like a fat Tim Tebow, mom is just fat. The kid is adopted though, so I know it's not genetics at play (she's black, the parents are both white).

I have to let her play forward sometimes, too. She hasn't shown up to either of our first two games yet, her parents said she was sick. She's been at most of the practices, though.

I try to be really positive and supportive of all the players for even the smallest of successes - but it's hard when she doesn't really give me anything to cheer about.
 
Damn, that's a crap situation. My natural inclination is to say fuck this pussy society. When we were kids, fatties didn't play sports other than football. They knew they couldn't keep up, the parents knew, everyone knew. There was virtually no "equal rotation, equal time" PC crap. If you sucked, you didn't play. Didn't help that the coaches were usually a former athlete dad who was trying to relive his youth. But I do feel bad for that fat kid. She's eating whatever crap her parents eat her. It's f'n child abuse.

That said, you're a lawyer in a cancel culture world where it doesn't matter how terrible she is because she can't run 30 feet without wheezing. She's black, she's adopted, the parents are white....it's like asking for trouble if you don't just go ahead and tank your team by giving her equal time. Maybe you get lucky and she keeps no-showing games. Her "sick" on game days only, probably her way of avoiding embarrassment.

Now I can't stop thinking about Rodney Dangerfield in Ladybugs.
 
So after practice tonight, her mom messaged me that the kid feels like she’s not part of the team because she’s slow and timid. Asked me for advice.

“Don’t be fat” probably won’t be well received.
 
DocZaius said:
So after practice tonight, her mom messaged me that the kid feels like she’s not part of the team because she’s slow and timid. Asked me for advice.

“Don’t be fat” probably won’t be well received.
Click to expand...

Salads, lifting weights, and some cardio is my advice: For ALL of you.

I'm just assuming the parents are fat too
 
Juggs said:
DocZaius said:
So after practice tonight, her mom messaged me that the kid feels like she’s not part of the team because she’s slow and timid. Asked me for advice.

“Don’t be fat” probably won’t be well received.
Click to expand...

Salads, lifting weights, and some cardio is my advice: For ALL of you.

I'm just assuming the parents are fat too
Click to expand...

Of course, they are.

At the game on Saturday, she was completely useless. If she plays goalie, she just stands there and lets the ball go by her. No effort at all. She does run after the ball when she plays forward, but on the off chance that the ball comes near her, she doesn't try to kick it or anything.

There's only so much I can do. I don't want to discourage her, but at some point she's got to try a little.
 
DocZaius said:
Juggs said:
DocZaius said:
So after practice tonight, her mom messaged me that the kid feels like she’s not part of the team because she’s slow and timid. Asked me for advice.

“Don’t be fat” probably won’t be well received.
Click to expand...

Salads, lifting weights, and some cardio is my advice: For ALL of you.

I'm just assuming the parents are fat too
Click to expand...

Of course, they are.

At the game on Saturday, she was completely useless. If she plays goalie, she just stands there and lets the ball go by her. No effort at all. She does run after the ball when she plays forward, but on the off chance that the ball comes near her, she doesn't try to kick it or anything.

There's only so much I can do. I don't want to discourage her, but at some point she's got to try a little.
Click to expand...
This bullshit participation trophy generation is terrible.

If you couldn't play and didn't put in the effort when I was a kid, you didn't get in the game. Period. Even as little as tball. Of course I can't remember a single fat kid on any of my baseball teams.

I'm curious if she even wants to do this or her parents encouraged her to be active and hoped this would help her. If they are, they're doing a piss poor job on also encouraging her to show effort, motivation, and a work ethic.
 
She's 6 or 7 years old, so I mean it's good that they're trying to get her into a sport, and these kids are not expected to go out there and be awesome soccer players (although I can tell that top 2-3 girls on my team are really frustrated whenever the fat girl plays - the other team scored 3-4 times because she couldn't move 3 feet to the side).

Under the league rules, I have to play them all for at least two quarters per game, and have to rotate them into different positions. I hate being in this position.
 
I know nothing about coaching soccer. But I would think you would just throw her out there on the field where she can run or not run and not affect the game like she will at goalkeeper.
 
pg. said:
I know nothing about coaching soccer. But I would think you would just throw her out there on the field where she can run or not run and not affect the game like she will at goalkeeper.
Click to expand...

I know next-to-nothing about soccer, but she sucks everywhere she is. She probably does the least damage at forward, true, but it's still a disadvantage - we're effectively playing with 5 players to the other team's 6.
 
pg. said:
Play two goalkeepers lol?

When I coached tball we put 15 on the field. So there was 1st base side pitcher and 3rd base side pitcher, five outfielders, and two extra infielders.
Click to expand...

What kind of pussy tball league was this? :lol: At your age, this is especially baffling.
 
Irish Mike said:
pg. said:
1990s tball. No score kept. 15 players on the field. I assume it's the same today.
Click to expand...

My kid played tball like in 2007-2008. No crazy horseshit like that. :lol:
Click to expand...

I played for years from 85 to early 90s and no stupid shit like that. It was straight up competition. The only undeserving player to see the field was the coaches son
 
Juggs said:
Irish Mike said:
pg. said:
1990s tball. No score kept. 15 players on the field. I assume it's the same today.
Click to expand...

My kid played tball like in 2007-2008. No crazy horseshit like that. :lol:
Click to expand...

I played for years from 85 to early 90s and no stupid shit like that. It was straight up competition. The only undeserving player to see the field was the coaches son
Click to expand...
Was your dad a good coach?
 
Irish Mike said:
Juggs said:
Irish Mike said:
My kid played tball like in 2007-2008. No crazy horseshit like that. :lol:
Click to expand...

I played for years from 85 to early 90s and no stupid shit like that. It was straight up competition. The only undeserving player to see the field was the coaches son
Click to expand...
Was your dad a good coach?
Click to expand...
Nyuk nyuk. My dad was a truck driver, he never saw a game :lol:

2nd base in tball, pitcher and catcher (insert gay jokes here) in little league.
 
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