The Back Alley Archives

So, one of my co-workers does not let her six-year-old son participate in Easter egg hunts due to the "pagan" nature of the tradition. Said co-worker related that, in ancient times, the pagans used to dye their women in pastel colors, hunt them down and then have sexual relations with them. She believes that Easter egg hunts are the modern progression of this ancient practice, and that she cannot think of her son hunting for Easter eggs without it having some kind of sexual connotation.

I don't even want to get into what she thinks the Easter Bunny was used for.

I am of the opinion that, if her version of history is true, why the hell did we ever stop? Coloring our women, hunting them down and sexing them up is WAY better than doing the same[SUP]1[/SUP] with eggs.

I didn't have the heart to tell her about the pagan origins of Christmas, which she still celebrates in the traditional American way - with a tree and Santa Claus and all.



[SUP]1[/SUP] Well, almost the same - no sexing of eggs takes place in my house.

She is complaining about this because, Doc, what she really wants is for you to dump a bucket of latex paint over her head and then chase her madly around the office until you corner her in a mop closet, where she will, with faint exhalations of mock objection, closet your mop.

Seize the day.

I've never heard that one. That's a pretty strange tale she's telling.

[quote=Toothy]She is complaining about this because, Doc, what she really wants is for you to dump a bucket of latex paint over her head and then chase her madly around the office until you corner her in a mop closet, where she will, with faint exhalations of mock objection, closet your mop.

Seize the day.[/QUOTE]

Is that interior or exterior paint? What kind of finish - eggshell, flat, semi-gloss, high-gloss or satin?

This is important.