The Back Alley Archives

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

In the meantime, the real question is who is cackling harder right now: 1.) Urban Meyer, 2.) Phil Fulmer, 3.) Notre Dame fans?

Fulmer, no doubt, doesn’t look so old and uncool to the fans who wanted him out (didn’t you see me in “The Blind Side?”). ND can point out that when it took a flyer on an unproven coach at least Charlie Weis had four Super Bowl rings as an assistant. As an added bonus, it now has a coach, Brian Kelly, who might have a decided schematic advantage over their arch-rival after all.

That said, based on the video of a laughing Meyer checking his text messages at Tuesday’s Florida basketball game, we’ll go with No. 1. If nothing else, Meyer’s stress level just returned to normal. This clinches it. Soon, the Gators are getting their daddy back.

After all, Tuesday night police needed tear gas to break up a crowd of fans who were standing outside the football offices “chanting obscenities” about Kiffin, according to local news reports.

Or, consider my five favorite thread titles on the Volquest message boards Tuesday night (or, at least the printable ones).

5. Glad I only named my dog Kiffin.
4. Al Davis wasn’t as crazy as we all thought.
3. Pat Summitt is more of a man than Lane Kiffin.
2. It’s like getting a divorce from a stripper!
1. Layla can stay.

After all, Tuesday night police needed tear gas to break up a crowd of fans who were standing outside the football offices “chanting obscenities” about Kiffin, according to local news reports.

Vols basketball player Renaldo Woolridge reports on Twitter that thousands of student chased Kiffin’s car down the street as he left campus. He tweeted that tear gas was used on the crowd and that fire trucks arrived at the scene.

Some reports say that fans were headed to Kiffin’s house.

During the season, I told one of my friends at a tailgate: "By the time it's over, Kiffin's tenure at Tennessee will make Zook's time at UF look like the reign of Caesar."

Not to belabor the Roman emperor theme, but . . . Nero anyone? (Talk about a program in utter tatters.) Please indulge one last Roman reference: I imagine you, Toothy, are feeling much the way Caligula did during his orgies.

Amazing that three short weeks ago everyone was eulogizing the Gators. The world tilted off its axis for just a moment, though, and the Gators, with future once again secured, are streaking toward a historic recruiting class. Instead, Texas Tech, USF, USC and, now, Tennessee are left to pick up the pieces.

Jeff, please be on the lookout for redneck Vols posses heading for the Kiffin home.

Mike

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Every year Tennessee lawmakers pass a resolution honoring the University of Tennessee's football coach. Not this year.

Lane Kiffin's sudden departure for Southern California left a bitter taste across the Volunteer State and the state legislature.

Republican House Speaker Kent Williams asked members of the chamber Wednesday to hold a voice vote on whether to congratulate Kiffin for his single 7-6 season.

The response was unanimous: "No!"

When news of Kiffin's departure hit Tennessee's campus, bedlam ensued. Students carried torches on campus streets and painted slurs on a rock on-campus. Tennessee Players heckled him during the team meeting when he told them of his decision, and some stormed out of the meeting to join other students in the streets.

"They're nothing but a bunch of traitors," one player yelled as he left the meeting, according to ESPN.

Kiffin did not fare a lot better with the Raiders, going 5-15 over 20 games as the youngest head coach in NFL history.

In addition, Kiffin had the NCAA looking hard at the Volunteers program for potential violations (something that is already happening at USC when he arrives). The most famous of those scandals was having “hostesses” — pretty coed girls — go talk to high school recruits at their games and other off-campus locations. That is a clear violation of NCAA rules.

Former Tennessee recruiting coordinator Ed Orgeron has contacted multiple UT mid-term enrollees and encouraged them not to attend class today so that they can easily leave UT and enroll at Southern California, multiple sources told the News Sentinel.

Orgeron, who joined USC's staff when Lane Kiffin was hired as coach on Tuesday, did not immediately return a text message from the News Sentinel seeking comment.

By attending class today, the nine mid-term enrollees, who have been at UT since Monday, would have to follow strict transfer rules, which include sitting out a year.

It is unclear how many, or which, prospects Orgeron contacted.

Burks said Wednesday that any customer who brings in an "It's Time" T-shirt can get 20 percent off the purchase of a new shirt. Burks said he'll ship the old shirts to Haiti, which was devastated by an earthquake on Tuesday.

^^^That is hilarious...and very charitable too!