so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

We are often imitated, but never duplicated. If you are looking to have fun and relax this is the place for you. Cuttlefish from all walks of life retreat here for tales and buttplugs. Gator or not you are welcome here if you want to have fun, relax and earn MASSIVE REP STARS!!1! Step right on in, folks, and savor the circlejerk.
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

it's really not a diet but a cleanse...meaning to say, losing weight is just a by-product of the primary intention which is to rid the body of all the toxins that have built up in the body over the years...meats and dairies tend to be the tougher to break down and the thought is that trace remnants linger and remain within the walls of the intestines and colon.

the 10 day process basically 'agitates' and 'flushes' the intestines much like a washing machine would do...you drink a tea before you go to bed, you drink 32ozs of salt water first thing when you wake up, you shit your brains out 1/2 hour later for an hour to an hour and 1/2...you drink 8-12 cups of 8oz lemonades whenever you're "hungry". I quoted "hungry" because on the 2 days i've been on this, i've not gotten hungry...i'm actually very satisfied...i've CRAVED and i believe there's a HUGE difference between the two.

anyways - as you guys might know...i'm on this weight bet...entered at 201, i have to get to 185...hadn't really paid much attention til i was told that the bet ends in 2 weeks so i decided to do the 'Cleanse' for fast results...i started this diet tuesday night and I weighed 197...today, i weigh 190....this is how it goes but if you REALLY want to do it, i suggest you go to the site to follow it by the law and so you can have it in writing so as to not confuse the details.

1 - every night, you drink 6ozs of herbal tea just before you go to bed...has to be "Senna" tea...the Senna herb promotes intestinal contraction. You’ll have a good night sleep but will hear your stomach gurgling…when you wake up though, you will take a big crap within an hour for sure. The tea is necessary to help the ‘agitation’ process
2 – drink 32 ozs of non-flourided spring water with 2 tsps of sea salt mixed in…sea salt has to be non-oxidized…the ‘flush’ cleans the intestines and within ½ hour, you will be shitting your brains out…the salt is needed to ensure that the solution is dense enough so as to not be absorbed by the blood vessels in your stomach…solution then drifts down to the intestines and flushes the walls much like liquid drayno does for pipes.
3 – whenever you’re “hungry”, drink the lemonade solution…consists of 8oz of spring water (non-flouride), 2 tables spoons of freshly squeezed organic lemons, 2 tablespoons of grade B organic maple syrup, and 1/10 of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper…drink at least 8-12 a day.
4 – don’t eat anything else or results will not be optimal, don’t drink anything else or results will not be optimal (you can however have spring water sporadically)….don’t take aspirins, don’t chew gum, don’t smoke, don’t take honey in your tea, don’t do anything.

• tea can be pure senna or senna combinations in case your stomach can’t handle pure
• don’t drink the lemonade an hour within drinking the flush
• lemons need to be organic…non-organic lemons contain pesticides and the added chemical is not good…enzymes in the lemon break down the layers of old waste in the colon
• organic maple syrup MUST be grade B…syrup supplies the energy and minerals the body needs to operate…darker the syrup, the more minerals…got to be organic because non-organic contains formaldehyde.
• Cayenne pepper helps break up the mucus and dilates the blood vessels which accelerates the detox process…the more cayenne you can handle, the faster the process




gonna chart it just to see the progress

Day 1 – 197
Day 2 – 194
Day 3 – 190
texgator
Posts: 3472
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:25 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by texgator »

Dude, just go to the Cracker Barrel and get breakfast, I end up crapping my brains out within 1 hour of finishing.

(that is why I never agree to go there prior to a day of errands/shopping, etc)
Toothy
Posts: 8304
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:36 pm
Contact:

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by Toothy »

I totally need to do one of those too.
Weegie
Posts: 10380
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:50 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by Weegie »

I can safely say that, unless I undergo a major personality and/or lifestyle transformation, I will never do a cleanse.
"It's been fucksticks as far as the eye could see this morning." --AA
UFgirlfan07
Posts: 2863
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:52 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by UFgirlfan07 »

Holy shit (literally). That's hardcore. Are you just doing this to lose weight or are there other reasons?

I was on this all-natural diet (not to lose weight, just to be healthy), but I've slipped off the wagon just a little the past two weeks.
G8rMom7
Posts: 12095
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:02 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by G8rMom7 »

I've heard these ads on the radio about this stuff you can take that is supposed to clean out all the crud in your intestines and colon...sort of like Liquid Plumber, but for your body. Bill is interested but I've had two colonoscopys so I've been there done that.

I'm with Weg on this one (voluntarily that is).
Okay, let's try this!

Image
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

i'm doing it to primarily lose weight in a short amount of time...BUT - i'm also doing it because i'm told the affects of the diet have more of an impact on the psyche and attitudes going forward about food in general...if you can sacrifice for 10 days w/o solid foods, you're damn well going to think twice about biting into a big mac the next time around.

on a physical sense, i'm told that the stomach can not shrink any more after 10 days on the diet...the diet suggests at least 7 days of weening after the initial cleanse consisting of raw fruits and veggies, chicken broth, salads, etc...i know of good friends who've done it and have had wonderful experiences eating sliced cucumbers or celery sticks afterwards because their palates have changed and were like “Wow…I can’t believe these cucumbers taste so good!!!”…that, and because your stomach is so small, it doesn’t take much to get you full…when you’re full, you’ll know it…same friend went out for a steak he normally gets at his local place and ate about 4-5 pieces before he started to feel bloated…couldn’t finish the rest…it’s about portion control and I think that’s going to be beneficial in the long run.
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

I've heard these ads on the radio about this stuff you can take that is supposed to clean out all the crud in your intestines and colon...sort of like Liquid Plumber, but for your body. Bill is interested but I've had two colonoscopys so I've been there done that.

I'm with Weg on this one (voluntarily that is).
the plan i layed out is all natural and organic...i can't believe the tv ad would be as natural and healthy...it might be processed...who knows.
G8rMom7
Posts: 12095
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:02 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by G8rMom7 »

^^^Oh, I'm sure it's a total scam and not healthy. I know that Bill loves the idea of being totally cleaned out...he's obsessed with that part of his anatomy. Oh well..TMI.

Good luck rad...be careful though! Use soft toilet paper!
Okay, let's try this!

Image
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

at 100 bucks a pound to the difference of your projected weight if you do not attain, i think that's enough motivation for me....target of 185, am 190 so that's $500 i owe if i choose to weigh out right now (obviously won't)

there's a guy who's 265 and his target is 244...he's NOWHERE near 260...that's $1600 if he gets there...lol...guy's got no will power though so he deserves it.
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

^^^Oh, I'm sure it's a total scam and not healthy. I know that Bill loves the idea of being totally cleaned out...he's obsessed with that part of his anatomy. Oh well..TMI.

Good luck rad...be careful though! Use soft toilet paper!
handi-wipes are GODLY...the ones w/aloe preferred.

i've been shitting nothing but liquid the last 2 days...no such thing as farts these days...lol
G8rMom7
Posts: 12095
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:02 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by G8rMom7 »

Okay, gonna get graphic...is it really acidic (sp?)...cuz that can sometimes cause discomfort although I'm sure the aloe wipes ARE very helpful. I would guess my roid would flare up bigtime if I started to crap like that.
Okay, let's try this!

Image
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

good question al and the answer is NO...even though the lemon is acidic, it becomes alkaline when digested and the alkalinity helps neutralize the acidity of the toxic wastes...this is why it's key to get organic lemons as they contain more minerals than non-organics....lemons HAVE to be fresh and not bottled...the enzymes begin to break down within hours so no heating...and no multi-day preparation as the enzymes lose it's effectiveness...prepare your drinks for a day ahead only....can't save a half a lemon to be squeezed tomorrow either...loses it's punch.
DocZaius
Posts: 11417
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:41 am
Contact:

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by DocZaius »

Junk science. All the organic ingredients and salts and teas and shit don't do shit.

You'll get the same results if you don't eat and just drink water for 10 days.

If your liver and kidneys are healthy, your body already flushes all the "toxins" out with no need for extra "minerals."
Image
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

i've fasted for 3 days before (many other weight bets) just to dry up on the last few days before weigh in....starvation is not healthy and drinking water alone doesn't provide you much energy.

in this "cleanse", i've not had a hunger pain, i've not had a headache, i've slept well and i've not been cranky.

weight bets past, i've been a beyotch to live with...not this time i have to admit.
G8RKyle
Posts: 4009
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:58 am
Contact:

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by G8RKyle »

I would try this if I didn't have to work. I don't want to be shitting at work in the morning.
Image
texgator
Posts: 3472
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:25 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by texgator »

I betcha you could hire Bobby Brown on the cheap. I hear he's an expert on fetchin' the dookie.
DocZaius
Posts: 11417
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:41 am
Contact:

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by DocZaius »

i've fasted for 3 days before (many other weight bets) just to dry up on the last few days before weigh in....starvation is not healthy and drinking water alone doesn't provide you much energy.
What's providing you energy here? A little bit of Grade B maple syrup? Come on, dude, that's just sugar. You are doing almost exactly the same thing as drinking water - and that's starvation.

Maybe you feel better because you get a *little* bit of sugar, salt and spice but there's nothing special about this diet that cleanses you of "toxins." I guess if it's working for you, fine, but I wouldn't do it for more than a week to ten days.
Image
radbag
Posts: 15809
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:59 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by radbag »

I just ran to catch a train and feel invigorated. Maybe its the weight loss. Maybe its something else.

I plan on doing it for 10 days. The guys at work no nothing about this. They are however wondering why I've not ordered lunch the past 2 days.

No headaches, no sluggishness...feelin fit and no cravings for anything solid.......yet.
Mlrtime
Posts: 5261
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:16 am

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by Mlrtime »

I thought we didn't allow poop threads...?
AdGator02
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:29 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by AdGator02 »

manny's posts should be quite entertaining over the next week as he starts to lose his mind. heheheheheh...
TheTodd
Posts: 7009
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:57 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by TheTodd »

I'm with Doc. Junk science. Doc, the only thing I can think would be providing energy is his body feeding off itself. He is forcing his body into starvation. Manny, I bet your losing muscle as well as burning fat.

http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/c/56/3124/real-deal-diet/
“The Knave abideth.” I dare speak not for thee, but this maketh me to be of good comfort; I deem it well that he be out there, the Knave, being of good ease for we sinners.
UFgirlfan07
Posts: 2863
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:52 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by UFgirlfan07 »

No headaches, no sluggishness...feelin fit and no cravings for anything solid.......yet.
Not until you pass out on the train and a homeless guy pees on you.

GL with that.
AdGator02
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:29 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by AdGator02 »

lol awesome visual.
Weegie
Posts: 10380
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:50 pm

so i'm on this "Master Cleanse" diet

Post by Weegie »

I love a bound-up colon.
"It's been fucksticks as far as the eye could see this morning." --AA
Post Reply