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crystal ball part I

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:06 pm
by radbag
dated august 23rd


With Florida's opener only nine days away, here's one man's guide into what will happen this season. Except this piece was so fun to compile, I'll stretch it into two weeks. Come back to the same place next week for the conclusion, and take this the way it was intended: as harmless entertainment.

1) Florida 63, Western Kentucky 7

Western Kentucky silences the Swamp after winning the toss, returning Joey Ijjas' sky kick to the 40 and throwing a 60-yard touchdown pass over Markihe Anderson's head on the first play. The Hilltoppers kick off from their own 15 after getting penalized for excessive celebration, and Florida returns it to the Western Kentucky 35. Kestahn Moore runs over a defensive lineman and races a career-long 35 yards to the end zone on UF's first play, silencing media critics who doubted his ability. Western Kentucky goes deep again on its next play, and Anderson intercepts it. The Gators score touchdowns on eight consecutive possessions with eight different players scoring. Coach Urban Meyer singles out quarterback Cam Newton for an excellent possession in the fourth quarter when UF picks up two first downs before punting to pin Western Kentucky inside its 10-yard line.

2) Florida 31, Troy 17

The Gator Nation freaks out when the other Men of Troy won't go away a week after losing 24-6 to Arkansas. Tim Tebow, who was 19 for 20 against Western Kentucky, throws a couple of interceptions in the first quarter as Florida struggles to adjust to an opponent with Division I- caliber players. Troy quarterback Omar Haugabrook throws for 200 yards in the first half but can't finish drives in the Red Zone as the Trojans trail 14-9 at the break. Percy Harvin breaks the game open with 70-yard touchdown run on UF's first possession of the second half. Ijjas provides the final points on a 55-yard field goal midway through the fourth quarter. Meyer originally intends to punt and pin Troy inside its 10-yard line, but Ijjas convinces him to change his mind during a timeout. Troy scores a TD and converts 2-pointer in the final minute. Coach Larry Blakeney says he knew his team would not come as close to an upset as it did against FSU in a 24-17 loss in 2006, noting "Florida's coaching staff does not involve nepotism."

3) Florida 31, Tennessee 17

So much for Gator Nation's concern. A hot Tebow throws two touchdown passes in the first quarter as Tennessee, coming off a 24-23 loss to California and a 24-23 win over Southern Miss, looks lost in the secondary. Gators go ahead 21-3 by halftime, with Dustin Doe nailing immobile quarterback Erik Ainge on a pair of blitzes and Jermaine Cunningham and Derrick Harvey each making a sack. Tebow finishes with 250 passing yards and 85 rushing yards as UF leads comfortably all the way, clinching the game on Brandon James' 59-yard punt return that makes the score 31-10 in the fourth quarter. An official throws a flag for an illegal block but picks it up when he realizes Kenneth Tookes no longer is on the Gator roster. Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer says he regrets decision to fly into Gainesville only two hours before kickoff, adding that he wanted to keep his players out of the Florida heat as long as possible. Tennessee fans point out Vols outscored Gators in second half and would win if the game were played again in November. Reviewing the Plan to Win with reporters the following Monday, Meyer says the key was UF averaging 2.6 first downs per possession.

4) Florida 34, Ole Miss 10

Returning to the land of Ron Zook's nightmares (The Zooker was 0-2 against the Rebs even though Eli Manning threw zero touchdowns, and he was 0-1 against Mississippi State in loss that got him fired), the inexperienced Gators are sluggish in their first game away from Florida Field. Doesn't matter, though, thanks to the punchless Ole Miss offense. Brent Schaeffer comes off the bench in the second quarter and throws picks on his first two passes, one to a leaping Brandon Spikes and the other to Major Wright, who returns it 40 yards for a touchdown. Andre Caldwell catches eight passes for 100 yards, giving him 28 for the year as he pulls within 15 of Carlos Alvarez' UF career record. Moore gains 45 yards on 14 carries. Ole Miss falls to 0-2 in the SEC after an earlier loss to Vanderbilt, but coach Ed Orgeron bellows that big-name recruits who attended the game prove he is turning around the program.

5) Florida 30, Auburn 23 (OT)

Neither defense can get off the field in an exciting shootout, but Meyer preserves his perfect home record. Tebow throws a gorgeous post pass to Caldwell in the back of the end zone on third-and-15 on Florida's overtime possession, and Harvey sacks Auburn quarterback Cox on fourth down to end the game. Sound vaguely familiar? Maybe, but this victory catapults the unbeaten Gators to No. 1 in the coaches' poll after USC's shocking loss at Washington earlier in the day. Florida's 30-23 overtime win over Auburn in 2002 halted a two-game losing streak and still left the Gators out of the top 25. Tebow has his best day as a passer as Auburn puts eight men in the box to slow down UF's running game, completing 21 of 30 passes for 305 yards. UF's front four can't get to Cox, who throws three touchdown passes against a shaky secondary. Auburn gets a safety in the first quarter when Moore is tackled in the end zone. During overtime, fans in The Swamp set an unofficial record for loudest volume even though they are not egged on by loud rock blasts through the stadium's speaker system.

6) LSU 24, Florida 22

Dreams of the second undefeated season in school history end in heartbreaking fashion when LSU kicker Colt David connects on a 25-yard field goal as time runs out. The Tigers move 52 yards in 60 seconds to set up the winning chip shot, ruining what would have been a dramatic comeback victory. Trailing 21-9 early in the fourth quarter and facing a fourth-and-20 from his 1-yard line, Meyer calls a triple-reverse fake punt that ends with Jarred Fayson throwing a 35-yard strike to Eric Rutledge, whom no one noticed. Tebow converts a pair of fourth-and-inches with power runs as the Gators finish off the drive to pull within 21-16. After the teams exchange punts, Tebow goes 5-for-5 on UF's go-ahead drive, capping it off with a touchdown pass to a wide open Cornelius Ingram as LSU double covers Caldwell and Harvin. Moore is stopped inches short on 2-point conversion attempt even though the Tigers were expecting a pass. The key player on LSU's final drive is a 25-yard completion with 10 seconds left, but UF fans swear the Tigers' left guard flinched just before the snap. Harvey, who has played every down on defense, leaps to block the final field goal try, but the ball goes an inch over his left hand.