The Back Alley Archives

Much like most bisexual East Berlin rave DJs, The Mighty Thor is named after an adjective and a powerful Norse god. The commonalities do not end there, however. Much like, say, "DJ Baldur the Funky Ramrod," The Mighty Thor also possesses radiant, flowing, shoulder-length blond locks, wears giant yellow go-go boots and a bright red cape, and most of what comes out of his mouth is an ancient, but powerful and masculine Germanic tongue.

The origin of the comic god goes like this: The arrogant Thor needs a lesson in humility, so his father Odin, the ruler of all gods, sends him to Earth in the form of a crippled mortal to teach him to be humble. When Thor finally learns his shits do stink, his mortal form dies off and he is allowed to become himself again.

This spiritual lesson serves to confirm two things: Being handicapped is God's way of punishing you for religious transgressions, and to the son of God, Earth is essentially a giant time-out where instead of facing a corner for five minutes you live a short, challenging life rife with confusion and pain until you are eventually allowed to die.