Florida Fans Change Topic On Team's Season With, "Hey, Holy Shit! You See That Auburn

[The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman]

As the worst season since 1979 came to an end with a 37-7 drubbing by rival Florida State, Florida fans quickly deflected questions and comments about the Gators season by exclaiming, "Did you see that Auburn-Alabama finish? HOLY SHIT!"


"So, yeah, I'm at Buffalo Wild Wings with my friends watching the game, drinking beers, eating wings, and then that happened. The place went nuts. It was the most unreal ending I've ever seen. I still can't believe it happened. That's gotta be the greatest game in the history of college football. I don't think you can debate that. It was a rivalry game between the number one and four teams in the country. You've got Nick Saban, who's the greatest coach in college football today. Alabama's won three of the last four national titles. Auburn already had a miracle win over Georgia a few weeks ago. A shot at the SEC and national championships are on the line. I mean, I can't even fathom what happened. The odds of winning a game like that are astronomical. Unbelievable!" said Gators fan, Rich Bloomquist, when asked why the Gators sucked so much this season?


Florida finishes the season at 4-8 and fans now have to wait and see what Will Muschamp will do to fix this team in the offseason. There has been speculation that some staff changes may be coming in the near future, including offensive coordinator Brent Pease. Message board discussions of new offensive coordinators are a hot topic among Florida fans.


"OH MY GOD, THAT ENDING! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!" posted user GatorbateTim.


While user FloridaBoi23 offered a bold choice for coordinator when he posted, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


While speaking with the media last night, Muschamp detailed his plans for improving the team in the offseason, but wasn't ready to offer any insight into if any staff changes are coming. "HOLY SHIT! THAT AUBURN-ALABAMA GAME WAS SOMETHIN', WASN'T IT? I feel bad for Nick, but HOLY SHIT! I AIN'T NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WHAT A GAME! Again, Nick's a friend and a mentor and it sucks, but WOW!"


Notes: Tyler Murphy missed his third straight game with a sprain in his AC joint. This marks the first time that a Gator and a joint haven't gotten along...I lost $5000 at the game when Moe Muscle won the Chevron race on the Jumbotron. That's what I get for hitching my wagon to a firetruck in a race with a mustang. Pretty sure that's a metaphor for Florida football this season...Up next: Nothing. We all sit and watch other teams have fun in bowl games like Florida Atlantic. The school with the head coach that got fired for doing drugs is bowl eligible. Fucking Florida Atlantic and Florida isn't. Goddammit! What a stupid fucking season! So glad it's over! FFFFFFUUUUUUCCK! I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE AND PUNCH THE BIGGEST TREE IN MY YARD UNTIL MY HANDS ARE BLOODY STUMPS OR THE TREE FALLS, WHICH EVER HAPPENS FIRST AND I LIVE IN A REDWOOD FOREST! I'M CANCELING NEW YEAR'S DAY SINCE FLORIDA ISN'T PLAYING A BOWL GAME! NEW YEAR'S DAY IS HEREBY CANCELED BY TUG'S DECREE! GO THE FUCK TO WORK AND BE MISERABLE! IF I SEE ANYONE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE I'M GONNA KNOCK IT OUT OF YOUR HAND AND HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THE BOTTLE! NO KISSING AT MIDNIGHT OR I'LL THROW YOU OVER A BALCONY! AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ANYONE SINGING AULD LANG SYNE I'M GOING TO YANK YOUR VOCAL CHORDS OUT LIKE A JERRY SPRINGER GUEST SNATCHING A WEAVE OFF HER MAN'S MISTRESS! FUCK! YOU BETTER FIX THIS SHIT WILL MUSCHAMP! YOU BETTER FIX IT GOOD! I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND HIGH CHOLESTEROL AND A HISTORY OF HEART DISEASE IN MY FAMILY AND ALL THIS RAGE IS NOT GOOD FOR ME SO I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO LIVE SO YOU BETTER FIX IT BY NEXT YEAR OR ELSE! OR ELSE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW, I'LL PROBABLY BE DEAD, BUT I WILL HAUNT YOU FROM THE GRAVE! MARK MY WORDS, THE ANGRY GHOST OF TUG WILL BE COMING FOR YOU JUST MAKING YOUR LIFE ALL SORTS OF AWFUL LIKE STEALING CHANGE OUT OF THE CONSOLE OF YOUR VEHICLE AND POURING A LITTLE BLEACH IN WITH THE SOLIDS WHEN YOUR WIFE IS DOING LAUNDRY AND I'M NOT MAKING A SEXIST STATEMENT THAT ONLY WOMEN DO LAUNDRY, NO, I JUST ASSUME SHE DOES BECAUSE TURNING A COUPLE OF KNOBS AND MEASURING DETERGENT IS BEYOND YOUR CAPABILITY! YOUR LIFE IS LIKE EVERY TERRIBLE FAMILY SITCOM! THE BEAUTIFUL, SMART WIFE WHO'S INEXPLICABLY MARRIED TO THE BIG DUMB OAF AND THEY HAVE TWO KIDS AND I BET YOU GOT A QUIRKY NEIGHBOR LIKE WILSON OR NED FLANDERS! THIS REALIZATION JUST MAKES ME HATE YOU MORE! I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU SO HARD NOW! GAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M GONNA FUCK THIS TREE UP SO MUCH!!!


Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman

[DocZaius]

The school with the head coach that got fired for doing drugs is bowl eligible.

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