Scouting Report: Vanderbilt University Commodores
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:29 pm
Founded: It sure was.
Location: Good ol' Vanderbilt, Tennessee.
Least Famous Alum: No one. They all get perfect little educations and go on to become successful products of society in their perfect little jobs with their perfect little families and they don't waste their days sitting at a computer writing scouting reports and wondering what their lives would be like if they just showed a little more initiative and applied for that master's program or talked to that gorgeous girl that you met at that party who worked for a major brokerage firm and got her number and given her a call the next day to send in your resume and ask her out for coffee and maybe your life would be different and you'd be with her and not that smug asshole, Chad. Oh, I want to punch him in the face so bad. Now her and Chad are married and have two beautiful kids and live in that two-story house over on Wabash in the good part of town with the good private school and the nice 7-11. Not like the one in your area where all the local teens hang out and make fun of you every time you go in there to get beef jerky and Sprite. Then you go home and try to muster the courage to look at yourself in the mirror, but you can't because you disgust yourself knowing you've lived a life full of regrets, missed opportunities, and failure. You open the medicine cabinet and begin looking at the different pill bottles wondering what's the best cocktail to put you to sleep for good, but then you close it because you don't have the balls. Just like you didn't have the balls to do any of that other stuff that lead you to this. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU, TUG, er, I mean, you! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU, PERSON READING THIS WHOSE LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES AND IS IN NO WAY TUG!
Head Coach: James Franklin. Not to be confused with the other James Franklin in the SEC that coaches Vanderbilt.
Strengths: ANCHORING DOWN AND SHIT! WHATEVER THAT MEANS! I DON'T KNOW, BUT WHEN JAMES FRANKLIN SAYS IT, I WANNA SUIT UP FOR A 6-6 SEC EAST TEAM!
Weaknesses: Not having Jay Cutler anymore.
Player to Watch: It's so hard to choose just one player out of eleven defenders that are going to be running right through Florida's offensive line.
Fun Fact: Vanderbilt is home to over 12,000 species of nerd.
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman
Location: Good ol' Vanderbilt, Tennessee.
Least Famous Alum: No one. They all get perfect little educations and go on to become successful products of society in their perfect little jobs with their perfect little families and they don't waste their days sitting at a computer writing scouting reports and wondering what their lives would be like if they just showed a little more initiative and applied for that master's program or talked to that gorgeous girl that you met at that party who worked for a major brokerage firm and got her number and given her a call the next day to send in your resume and ask her out for coffee and maybe your life would be different and you'd be with her and not that smug asshole, Chad. Oh, I want to punch him in the face so bad. Now her and Chad are married and have two beautiful kids and live in that two-story house over on Wabash in the good part of town with the good private school and the nice 7-11. Not like the one in your area where all the local teens hang out and make fun of you every time you go in there to get beef jerky and Sprite. Then you go home and try to muster the courage to look at yourself in the mirror, but you can't because you disgust yourself knowing you've lived a life full of regrets, missed opportunities, and failure. You open the medicine cabinet and begin looking at the different pill bottles wondering what's the best cocktail to put you to sleep for good, but then you close it because you don't have the balls. Just like you didn't have the balls to do any of that other stuff that lead you to this. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU, TUG, er, I mean, you! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU, PERSON READING THIS WHOSE LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES AND IS IN NO WAY TUG!
Head Coach: James Franklin. Not to be confused with the other James Franklin in the SEC that coaches Vanderbilt.
Strengths: ANCHORING DOWN AND SHIT! WHATEVER THAT MEANS! I DON'T KNOW, BUT WHEN JAMES FRANKLIN SAYS IT, I WANNA SUIT UP FOR A 6-6 SEC EAST TEAM!
Weaknesses: Not having Jay Cutler anymore.
Player to Watch: It's so hard to choose just one player out of eleven defenders that are going to be running right through Florida's offensive line.
Fun Fact: Vanderbilt is home to over 12,000 species of nerd.
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman