LOL, []_[] Mad, bro?
-BuccaneerCane12
Oh ho ho! We got ourselves a troll! Gather ‘round everybody! Look at the troll in its natural habitat, the internet! Look at his screen name, kids. He identifies himself as a Tampa Bay Bucs fan first, a Miami Hurricanes fan second and I’m assuming his age third. Isn’t it adorable? Hey little buddy, you’re a Bucs fan, so shut the fuck up. Have a nice day!
Yeah, man I just I gotta tell ya right now, I love these Gators. I just, I love ‘em, I love ‘em. My daddy loved them. His daddy loved them. And Saturday just tore my heart out. I don’t know how you can take those men in that locker room, these men who have bled on that field and look in their eyes and their hearts and Driskel just ain’t good enough. We are never gonna take the next step with Driskel. We gotta get rid of Driskel. We gotta get rid of him and we gotta get rid of him NOW!
-Tyler. Atlanta, Ga.
WHO ARE YOU GONNA REPLACE HIM WITH? GIVE ME A NAME?
Driskell sucks. He’s terrible. He’s the worse quarterback in Florida history. He’s the worse quaterback in the history of football. He sucks. His play makes me physicly sick. He’s shit. He’s cancer. He’s hitler. He’s the hitler of quarterbacks. I can’t stand to watch him play. He fucking sucks and doesn’t deserve to wear the orange adn blue. Fuck him. This whole team is shit and their going no where. Will Muschamp fucking sucks and should be fired imediately. Trey Burton is the worse reciever. The defense is over rated. Fuck this team. How do you fucking lose to Miami?
-BigGatorLuvr
The answer to that question is simple—turnovers, but the better question is—how have you gone through life with such a small brain and not killed yourself in some hilarious manner, like jumping off the roof of your house and breaking your neck in some backyard wrestling scenario? Please get back with me. I sincerely want to know because you’re a goddamn marvel of evolution who manages to laugh in Charles Darwin’s face every time you take a breath.
I, for one, support Driskel and the offensive coaches and don’t think anyone should be fired. It’s one loss and everyone’s overreacting. Florida is still undefeated in SEC play and Florida’s schedule is strong enough that if they win out they can reach the title game. I’m not saying it will happen, but I feel like I’m the only one who’s sane around here. Do you agree, TUG?
-Emily C., Daytona.
Emily, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to take a moment and really think about what I’m asking—will you marry me? I love you. I mean it. I’m so in love with you that I can’t even focus on how to answer your question. I get so many stupid emails from stupid fans with stupid questions and then you come along. You’re a rose in a field of turds. I love you and want to make so many babies with you. I should tell you now, I’m married, but if you say yes, I will leave her, our three kids and that asshole dog in an instant. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want us to get married on a beach in Hawaii and when we’re pronounced husband and wife, doves are released. And that night on the honeymoon, while we’re making love, more doves are released. And when you give birth to our first child nine months later—you guessed it—I pop a bottle of champagne…and a dove comes out instead. I want to wake up next to you every day and leave you little notes before I leave for work to let you know how much I love you, like two stick figures of me and you doing it. I promise I will never take you for granted. And I will always appreciate, respect, and love you each and every day. You are incredible and you make me feel the same way. Please say yes and I will fill your life with more love and affection than you could have ever imagined. Up until the moment that I read your email, I didn’t think I needed anything else in my life, but I was wrong. I need you and if you say no to my question, I’m not going to be able to live without you knowing you’re out there. I don’t even want to think what my life will be like going forward without you. I love you more than anything in this world. Just say yes and let’s make history together. Beautiful, loving history.
Are you concerned that if the offense continues to lose games, there will be a rift within the team and the whole season will be lost?
-Allen Edwards
Allen, I don't even care because I'm so in love with Emily, man. All I can think about is what color we're going to paint the nursery in our new home together or where we're going to go to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I hope you have the opportunity to experience the type of love that I'm feeling right now. It's indescribable.
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman