The Back Alley Archives

When you get to having some number of children, let's use 4 for this example, you start thinking that enough is enough. So you might decide to go have a vasectomy like I did. Here's my advice: Do not do this in the middle of the summer! The combination of swelling, shaved scrotum and itchy sutures is maddening enough without adding 100% humidity and high temperatures. You don't need to be swimming in ball soup while you're trying to heal.

Did you at least get a hot nurse to shave you?

"Thank you, Hans, you've been quite gentle."

Well, the women might think he was hot. The nurse was a black guy. I guess he was good looking. But I was all drugged up on valium, so I didn't care who was tending to my junk. I tell you what, if I ever had a prescription for valium I know I would abuse that shit.