The Back Alley Archives

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

What the fuck was that shit?

Christ.

So what the fuck went wrong last night? There's a ton of blame to go around, so let's get started.

Offense: Jeff Driskell stunk it up big time, and it started with his very first pass - the first fucking play of the game - that was intercepted and allowed Louisville to go up 7-0 in the first minute of play. It didn't get much better, although he did manage to put together a couple of drives later on, including a 93-yard touchdown drive late in the game. Driskell played as he usually does: holding on the ball way too long and getting sacked or pressured in critical situations.

Coaching: What the fuck? An onside kick to start the second half? While that kind of sticks in everyone's craw as an example of poor play-calling, that's not the real story. The real story is that the Gators abandoned their strengths. All fucking year they've been running the ball down everyone's throats. But what do we do when we get a little behind in the first quarter? Start letting Driskell pass it around? That's shit. When you look at the stats, we had 29 pass attempts and only 30 rushing attempts - only 9 of which came from Gillislee. In the season-ending victory over F$U, by contrast, we rushed the ball 47 times and attempted to pass only 25 times. This is NOT a good passing offense - our quarterback isn't that good; our receivers aren't that good; and our offensive line can't pass-block for shit. If we had stuck with running the ball, we would have played a little more consistently, controlled the time of possession (Louisville dominated that stat handily) and kept Louisville's offense off the field.

Defense: What the fucking shitting fuck? Before this game, we were the number one defense in the nation! Dammit all so much! Louisville passed all over our shit. Our secondary - where the fuck were they? They should have been all over Louisville's receivers like stink on a monkey but no, the Cardinals gained 8.3 yards per pass, with a number of big pass plays coming on third down - with the result that the Cardinals converted on 9 of 14 third-downs. I'm still trying to figure out how the fuck we let that happen, but it happened for practically the whole damn game.

Penalties: Almost 100 yards of penalties against the Gators, including 30 yards on two personal foul penalties after the disastrous onside kick attempt that led to another Louisville score (thanks, Chris Johnson! Hope you enjoyed your ejection!). The Cardinals, by contrast, only had 25 yards of penalties. And yes, I recognize that the Louisville offensive line was holding all night without being called for it, but fuckitall, it's fucking Louisville! We should be able to overcome THE ADVERSITY ON THE FIELD!

Fans: Fucking embarrassing that we couldn't sell all our tickets or show up for the game. It's the cock-shitting SUGAR BOWL for fuck's sake! We used to be excited to go to New Orleans. This year, this is what we got:

Come on, now. We are the GATOR NATION! We're not F$U or Miami. We are supposed to travel well - especially within the South. Get your ass to the game, you fucking shit-fucks![SUP]*[/SUP]

Blue jerseys and orange pants? I gotta be honest: I liked the color combination, but we are 0-3 when wearing that shit. Stop it.


Yes, there were some bright spots. But this post is not about them. Maybe I'll do a positive post at some point but don't hold your breath.

[SUP]*[/SUP] Where was I? I was busy, you fucking shit-eating asshole cocksucker! Where were you?

i'm just now picking my head up off the floor

That game bugged the shit out of me for a number of reasons, some of which are the same as yours, the others which I'll add here:

1. Muschamp's pregame interview: All he talked about was how we're from the toughest league in the game. He should've been focused on the game at hand and it seemed to me like that attitude carried over to the rest of the team. They looked like they came out and tried to intimidate Louisville into laying down.

2. Which led to the shitty defensive play. Instead of playing sound defense like we have all season, it seemed like everyone was trying to lay the big intimidating hit or rip the ball out and it wasn't working. Too much shit talking too. STFU and play the damn game

3. Louisville knew they had to stop the run and force Driskell to throw. Everyone knew that. We weren't running it well using the straight up running plays early, but when they put Burton in to run the option packages, Louisville couldn't do shit to stop it. And we then abandoned it. Why?

4. The refs were awful. WTF was that one ref doing arguing with Bostic? Bostic put his hands up and tried to walk away and the guy started grabbing him and getting in his face even more. I have no problem with that idiot Johnson getting ejected for what he did, but calling two penalties for 30 yards? I've never seen that before. And the sideline penalty on Muschamp when we'd stopped Louisville was total bullshit. There was no sideline warning and the ref who called it had a big shiteating grin on his face when Muschamp questioned it. I saw Strong come off the sidelines multiple times during the game and each time he just got warned and waved back.

5. We better have some receivers who can catch a fucking ball in the pipeline. I don't put it all on Driskell because he can't control the drops some of these guys have. That pick six early was partly bad placement by Driskell and partly some weak ass effort by Debose.

6. Excessive use of profanity proves my point even more.

Truly a pathetic show last night! And to make matter worse, from a selfish point of view, this fucks up my Bowl Pool as well!

However, playing Devil's Advocate for second, did anyone think starting this year we would be 11-2? I sure didn't. No excuse for last night, but some perspective.

I was there and wanted to leave at half time. I left after we failed to score at the beginning of the 4th quarter. Might be the last bowl game I go to unless it's the BCS Championship game if they are going to play like that.

FUCK!!! That was an epic shitstorm. All of their WRs where from FLA. UF gets the 2 top rated QBs of that year, both are not very good.

Per Pat Dooley's Twitter feed:

‏@pat_dooley
Interesting that Jordan Reed left after being benched in the SBowl for his attitude. There were several upperclassmen who tanked it I'm told

not surprising but I also saw some upperclassmen playing their buts off