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Florida Fan Dies After Laughing Too Hard At FSU, Miami, And Georgia

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:52 am
by The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman
As Steve Spurrier once said, "God is smiling on the Gators," and yesterday proved to be one of those days. Florida upset the fourth-ranked LSU Tigers, 14-6, in front of a hostile, capacity crowd in The Swamp. Then later that night brought even more joy to the hearts of Gators fans when Miami and Georgia were both dismantled by Notre Dame and Spurrier's South Carolina Gamecocks, respectively. But the real cherry on top was the huge last minute upset of the third-ranked Florida State Seminoles to North Carolina State. A game, in which, the Seminoles blew a 16-0 lead and fell 17-16 on a touchdown from Mike Glennon to Bryan Underwood with :16 remaining. The big win from Florida and the humiliating losses by their rivals sent Gator fans into a state of wild exuberance late Saturday night.


For one Florida fan, however, the joy was too much. New Port Richey resident Brian O'Hare died in the early hours of Sunday morning when he laughed way too hard at the plight of Florida's rivals. EMTs arrived at his home at 1:32 a.m. after a 911 call from his wife, Allison, was made. In the call, she says her husband was laughing violently about "some football teams" and then he abruptly stopped and collapsed to the floor. They found O'Hare unconscious with a massive smile and an even more massive erection. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.


"I've never seen his erection that big. I mean, it was twice the size of what it normally is. I don't know how we'll close the casket at his funeral. He just couldn't stop laughing. I've never seen him so excited. I suppose if he had to go, this is the best way," said Allison.


O'Hare's Facebook page showed his overwhelming joy with a series of posts he made shortly after FSU fell.


At 11:41 p.m.
[INDENT]"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHZHZHHZHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
[/INDENT]At 11:45 p.m.
[INDENT]"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Eat shit, FSU, Georgia, Miami, LSU!"
[/INDENT] And his final post at 12:37 a.m.
[INDENT]"Oh man, my whole body hurts right now. I can't stop laughing. I'm too pumped to go to sleep. Guess I'll celebrate all night long. IT'S GREAT TO BE A FLROIDA GATOR!"
[/INDENT]Friends of O'Hare say he died as lived--being an enormous prick. "Yeah, he was a huge prick," said friend, Allen Franklin. "It doesn't surprise me this is how he went. Just laughing his ass off at others misery. He probably didn't even watch a second of those other games and I'm willing to bet a large sum of money he only watched about fifteen minutes of Florida's game. He just liked to stir shit."


The official cause of death will not be known until his body is examined, but all signs point to O'Hare laughing way too hard. "This was just too much Schadenfreude for one person," said EMT Mike Parker.


Notes: After Florida ran the ball 24 consecutive times to end the game, Jacoby Brissett wondered why he wasn't called upon to hand the ball off, "This is tough. I thought I was the guy the coaches turned to when it was time to hand the ball off and run out the clock?"...The Gators won despite not getting any production from Stephen Alli...Attendance was 90,824. Just pathetic. When are we going to get one million people into the stadium? Week after week, it's only around 90,000. It's embarrassing. China's able to cram a million people into a small area, so why can't we, Gator Nation? Are we gonna continue to let China kick our butts in this as well?...Next game: Florida travels to Nashville to play Vanderpbilt. Kickoff is at 14 and will air on Channel.
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Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman

Florida Fan Dies After Laughing Too Hard At FSU, Miami, And Georgia

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:47 am
by TheTodd
love this guys stuff

Florida Fan Dies After Laughing Too Hard At FSU, Miami, And Georgia

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 5:56 pm
by slideman67
ROTFLMMFAO!!!! Great stuff!