The Back Alley Archives

Ok, so some of you probably know that we moved into our new house a few months ago. And I gotta tell you, it's really really nice. Lots of space, big backyard, a decent-sized pool and it faces a nice lake. Well, more of a big pond, but it's connected to a lake - anyway, the view is pretty nice.

The house came complete with a tire swing in the backyard.

Anyway, on Father's Day, we invited my in-laws to have dinner at our house. My sister-in-law comes up to me and tells me that she went into our backyard, where she discovered a family using our tire swing! Two children, a mother and a father were just hanging out in my backyard. The sister-in-law confronted them and they explained that it was okay because they are our neighbors.

What the fuck? I don't know any neighbors with two kids, yet. I know the family next door and they have three kids - and their own treehouse in the backyard. I know them well enough to know they wouldn't just come into the backyard and start chilling out.

As they left, my sister-in-law overheard one of the kids ask the parents if they could swim in our pool. The parent (I don't remember if it was the mother or the father) told her "No, because you already went to the beach today." Not, "No; this isn't our house."

To top it all off, several weeks ago, my wife came home one day to find a different family from down the street (who we met before) had also been in our backyard - doing what, I don't know. I was actually at home and my wife discovered them coming out of our backyard - my wife assumed they had been talking to me, since their daughter is just a little younger than our son, and we had met them already. So we didn't question it until my wife and I discussed them afterwards.

What the hell is it with people in this neighborhood? They seem nice enough, but who the fuck just hangs out in someone's backyard, without asking? Who just assumes we'll be okay with trespassers?

I had been resisting pressure to get a fence around our backyard because I don't want to spoil the view - my mother-in-law is afraid our son will drown in the pond. Now, I'm having second thoughts. I just don't like random people coming into my backyard and doing whatever they please.

Am I wrong?

Sounds like your neighbors are using bath salts. I'd move.

Fence that bitch and get a doberman. Problem solved.

And in response to your previous post, that is very weird.

Well, like I said, I don't really want to fence it in. I actually like the neighbors on either side of me. On one side is the aforementioned family with three kids - they're really nice, quiet and best of all they don't trespass. Hell, I have no problem if they want to hang out on my property.

On the other side is Old Gay Carl. He is an old-money author and antiques expert (ask him about the times he's been on Antiques Roadshow!) from somewhere in New England. He lives by himself and almost never comes out of his house. I don't mind if he comes onto my property, either, although getting him to leave can be a challenge. He's a bit of a chatty-Cathy, but he has invited us to his tent at the Polo Grounds, which I guess will be kind of neat during polo season.

I don't want to be a bad neighbor, but if you're gonna hang out in my yard, don't you think you should at least introduce yourself first?

+2 on the dog idea...either that or start charging money...but no money would be worth the use of my personal property

Should I set some kind of trap? Bear or pit? Punji sticks, perhaps?

there's GOT to be a way to get this rectified without having to spend money for a fence

Our next door neighbors have a pool and have given us free reign of it. We always ask when they are home and many times will either clear it the day before or wait till they get home before we head over. We all hang out quite often and they love having our kids over since they are recent empty nesters. But all that said it is a longstanding agreement with them to which we try very hard not to abuse the privilege. I would never dream of just waltzing into someone's backyard that I had never spoken to.
Could you fence from the house to the edge of the property line to make it somewhat clear that, Hey, your walking around a fence? That might help and not ruin the view.

That might be an option, but it would probably piss off my mother-in-law, who wants the whole backyard fenced so our boy doesn't drown in the pond.

aren't you required to fence the pool? Here in VA there has to be a fence to completely restrict access.

We have a screened-in patio around the pool, with self-closing doors and a locking handle at around 6 feet. At any rate, the house is old enough that I think we'd be grandfathered in.

We also have a baby fence that restricts access from the house to the pool, just in case the boy tries to get in when we're not looking.

How about one of those metal 3" fenses that don't block your view but will let people know to stay the eff out. Also, no trespassing signs?

how bout a moat?

You could fill the pool with sharks with freakin laser beams on their heads.

Temporarily surround the yard with crime scene tape.


Seriously though. I'm assuming with the lake in the back and neighbors on each side that they come into the yard along one of the sides of your house? Could you not post some "No Trespassing" signs on each side for a little while till folks get the point. One would think you could take them down after a month or so.