The Back Alley Archives

I don't notice saying anything bad about any of the sports PMC advocates, which surely must constitute a general endorsement of her tastes.

But I am only one small, bitter, tired man.

Bingo and cake walks--two sporting events I can get behind.

This thread made my day!

I don't notice saying anything bad about any of the sports PMC advocates, which surely must constitute a general endorsement of her tastes.

But I am only one small, bitter, tired man.

Hey Toothy...I hope you are feeling better!

Manny Ramirez going down is one small good thing in an otherwise miserable week. But more small good things will come, I promise.

I hereby petition you, Toothy, to suspend your lack of caring about sports for a specific purpose which will further your overall goals: Cast your personal maximum number of MLB All Star ballots, each of them including both Lastings Milledge (who would represent the vaunted Nats, although he's currently at AAA Syracuse) and Manny Ramirez (who speaks for himself, I think). Think of the schadenfreude potential of seeing Selig squirm over Milledge and Manny.

Let it be so.

Bitterly yours,
AA

A worthy idea. Believe me, I cast votes in favor of felons, steroid pillows, and the lame and infirm every year. I don't wish only misfortune on Selig; I wish a villain's grimy outcome. I want him dragged and kicked in the street.

I plan on printing this thread on glossy tri-folds, putting on a crisp white shirt with a sensible tie and going door to door asking 'Have you heard the Good Word?'.

'Let me tell you of the book of Toothy'...hahaha

Let me say that I am relieved that Alex Ovechkin and the miserable Washington Capitals have been eliminated from the NHL playoffs at long last so that everyone around here can STFU.

Manny Ramirez? Oh, shock me. Thome isn't gonna surprise that many people. The one that's gonna rock you is Ken Griffey, Jr. Such a nice kid. That's the day I'm gonna buy Sports Illustrated.

I watched 30 seconds of bowling on some ESPN channel tonight and I take back anything half-nice I might have said about bowling in any previous post.

bowling rocks

bowling rocks

I learned from the good book's principles that rockingness is a necessary, but not sufficient, condition to Toothy caring.

One of these bowlers was sitting on a throne that looked like a junior high school stage set, and he picked up a spare on a seven pin after the ball bounced back out of the gutter. They took the spare away.

And if I wanted to watch a prissy fussy tea party between a bunch of queen wannabes, I'd watch the NBA.

By the way: less than 72 hours till the Preakness, Maryland's sole contribution to the summer not completely sucking. After that, we can all sleep for three weeks till the Belmont.

Then it's the abyss, baby.

I hear cricket is big during the American sport downtime.....

Thread of the year!

Hey, I wish to formally commend the Preakness for not sucking. It's about the only thing in Baltimore that isn't completely horrible. Two minutes long and the girl comes out on top. Not unlike Saturday night at the Toothy house.

I would duly note, then, that with the exception of the Belmont, probably to be won by Mine That Bird, we are now more Lost than Lost: three scorching months of Kobe v. LeBron, A-Rod v. himself, and summer sports hell. You thought I was just being Chicken Fucking Little about this, but now you're feeling it, n'est-ce pas?

I'll be in purgatory, relegated to NASCAR (the all-star race saturday night was action packed, fyi...busch gordon newman 3 wide down the front stretch at charlotte? yowsa.) and MLB (the marlins blow except for lil Hanley...I enjoy watching the Rays).

Mostly I'll be dreaming about the Gators' 2009 defense.

I've still got baseball to entertain me, and the Gators look to host a regional in college baseball - that should push us into the end of June...then we can start thinking about summer conditioning and fall practices.

So I go ahead and watch the Magic game tonight...one second left and they are up by two. Then Bill turns and explains the stupid NBA rule about how when the opposing team scores you can call a timeout and get the ball at half court (or less in this case?). He says, "in football after a score, you can't call a timeout and get it at the 45...wtf?" Sure enough, LeBron gets the ball and shoots and gets a 3 pointer to win. I'm not watching anymore of these NBA games...even if they ARE playoffs....stupid.

^^^werd.

Guy said on sports radio yesterday, wouldn't it be great, an Orlando vs. Denver final?

Think of the billions of dollars that would be lost if these two teams advanced. How delightful.

It's almost enough to make me care about these series. Not enough to make me tune in.

I would enjoy that too. It would be funny to watch the NBA collectively crap its pants at losing all that money.

I pretty much don't care about all professional sports, as the fun has been taken out of those games. I think college sports are so much better for 3 reasons - the teams will never go on strike, will never move, and the players and coaches actually care about the fans. You can't say that at all in professional sprots.

Baseball could go away as far as I am concerned. I gave up on them after the 94 strike.

NASCAR too. While I like fast cars, Jeff Dunham has a good bit on this - they made a left turn, and anlther left tuen, and another left turn, etc. Seem very boring to me.

College football, college basketball, and the Olympics are all I need.