Three seasons and a lot of losses and laughs later, I’m here to tell you all that this is my final post as The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman. All things must come to an end, right? It’s time for me to move on and do something else. What that is, I still haven’t figured out. But, I feel like the time is right to step away from playing this character. And yes, The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman is a character. This is satire and if you thought any of this was real, I will pray for you. (Sadly, some did. Looking at you, Georgia Bulldogs fans!)
I’m hanging it up for a variety of reasons. I do this in my spare time for fun and to give me a creative outlet to keep me sane while I work a mind numbing office job. My job doesn’t allow me the benefit to sit down and write during the day when I have down time. Sure, I can sneak away and fire off some quick tweets here and there, but that’s about it. Sitting at my desk during the day analyzing spreadsheets with my left brain and trying to come up with a scouting report with my right brain doesn’t lend me to being the most focused or productive employee during football season. So, trying to maintain the site in the evenings and weekends can be a hassle and I don’t want it to be that way.
But, the biggest reason why I’m hanging it up is because I’m just tired of playing this character and I want to be myself on the internet for a change. I feel like I’ve plateaued with this blog and I’ve taken it as far as I’m going to take it and I’d rather end it now before it became unfunny or stale. Maybe it has already, I don’t know, but if it hasn’t, then it inevitably will.
I love satire. I don’t think there is a greater form of comedy than a well-written, sharp, satirical piece, but writing satire is tough. There's a fine line you have to walk. The best satire is when you know it’s satire. That is why I am going to leave the satire business to the professionals like The Onion, Stephen Colbert, South Park, and PFT Commenter. And let me say, if you don’t know about PFT Commenter, go follow him on Twitter or find him at Kissing Suzy Kolber immediately. He is so fantastic and astoundingly hilarious that it makes me angry. If I could do this all over again, TUG would be what PFT Commenter is, but I’m not smart enough to pull off what he’s doing or I would’ve have done it in the first place.
Anyway, there are a lot of people I want to thank for the support and helping me to this point. First of all, the people who joined the Facebook page in the very beginning, you all are wonderfully, insane people, for whom I love. You got into a car with a deranged stranger and let him drive you around town even though he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing and was never looking at the road. It means a lot.
That goes for everyone who has read this blog and was a fan. I didn’t know what to expect when I started this. The internet is a dark, damp basement of assholes waiting to shit on anything that someone else tries to create that doesn’t match their interests. I really loathe those people. If you dislike something, be it a movie, book, TV show, etc., move on and keep searching until you find something you love and promote it to the world. What’s the point in wasting your time telling someone they suck because you didn’t like the video they posted on YouTube?
I am so happy that the comments, emails, and messages I’ve received over the years from you all have been nothing but positive and supportive. I’ve only received a handful of negative comments and the majority of those were from fans of other schools. So, thank you, guys, for being awesome!
A big thanks to Paul Sjoberg at Our Two Bits. I was on Twitter for about two weeks and had probably 25 followers before Paul reached out to me and wanted me to guest write for his site. I agreed and my first ever post was the Muschamp Intensity Meter. I had about 700 new followers by the next day. They are good people over there at Our Two Bits and I’m really appreciative of them letting me post my nonsense on their site.
Thanks to Chris and James at Gators First, had they contacted me a day earlier, I would have probably been guest writing for them instead of Our Two Bits, but they were still kind enough to repost some of my stuff on their site and gain me a larger audience.
Thanks to Andy Hutchins at Alligator Army for linking my stuff on his site from time to time. I’ve gotten so much traffic from AA. More than any other source, in fact. Andy may ruffle some people’s feathers, but I thoroughly enjoy reading what he writes.
Thanks to Michael Nash for designing the awesome headers and background for the site. He does great design work and I highly recommend him if you need someone in that area.
Thanks to all the other Gators blogs that I've interacted with, The Bull Gator, Jean Shorts Torture, Throw The Flag, The Gators Daily. You guys are great and I honestly believe that Florida has the funniest, smartest group of bloggers and writers of any fanbase in college football, including EDSBS with Spencer and Celebrity Hot Tub. The last few seasons of Florida football have been less than fun on the field, but every single one of you has entertained me on a daily basis and at times, had me in tears laughing. It has been a privilege serving beside you all and I hope to continue to in some form in the future.
Thanks to my biggest fan, the Palm Beach Post’s Jason Lieser. He’s been quite upset about me hanging up TUG since I confirmed the news to him a few weeks ago. He even threatened to quit his job if I stopped blogging. Jason’s one of the most entertaining Florida beat writers to follow on Twitter and has promoted me quite a bit on that time wasting site. It is much appreciated, sir. Please don’t quit your job over this dog and pony show. Bloggers like me are a dime a dozen. It’s not worth it, man.
Thanks to Blackout Sports for having me be a part of their network for a month. Sorry it didn't work out!
Lastly, thanks to my friends who continue to support, encourage, and push me to write more and improve as a wannabe writer/comedian. This blog would never have existed if it weren't for you. I love you all tremendously, even though almost all of you are FSU, Miami, or Alabama fans.
So, what’s next for me? Eh, I don’t know. I guess I’m a free agent of sorts at the moment. I want to continue to write, just not sure what yet. I’m going to take a little break from blogging to figure out what I want to do. I don’t want to say TUG is dead forever. I may get the itch to write satire again, but if he does return, it will mostly likely be in book form. I’ve had an idea for a book in my head for the last two years, but it just shows you how lazy I am that I haven’t even bothered to sit down and write it. I think it’s a good idea for a book and would be pretty funny, but we’ll see.
Oh, and who exactly is the man behind TUG? Hello, I’m Blake. Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m a nobody. I'm the most average person you'll ever meet. I’m 31. I live in Polk County (I know). I’m a nice guy. I'm quiet and laid back. I don’t go outside much. I have immaculate hygiene. I love Reece’s peanut butter cups. I don’t drink (I can hear your gasps from here). I’m a rational Gators fan, if that’s a thing that exists (get this—I don’t think Muschamp should be fired OR that Pease should have been fired [ducks]. Maybe that just makes me dumb and not rational. I don’t know.) I’ve never been married, nor do I have children, unlike TUG who has experienced multiple divorces and has a few offspring that he pays no attention to. His only love is Florida football. So, ladies, I’m single! Holla!
Have I managed to successfully ruin your image of TUG? What I’m saying is, I’m mostly the opposite of that character. TUG was an alter-ego for me to get my most asinine, irrational thoughts out and make people laugh.
If I made just one of you chuckle, then it was worth it. I never made a single dime writing any of this, but I didn't get into this looking to make money. Like I said before, this was all purely an outlet for me to entertain and I certainly had fun doing it and I hope you did too because this is supposed to be fun. It’s a game. Losses don’t bother me and believe me, I certainly want Florida to win, but win or lose, I’m going to laugh and enjoy it.
Don’t worry, though. I’m not leaving for good. I will still remain on Twitter at my current account and will still tweet plenty of jokes about the Gators and college football, the sport I love the most. Same sense of humor and all. However, the account will now be my personal account meaning other random jokes and me laughing at how bad my Chicago Cubs are (I can handle a 4-8 season because I’m a Cubs fan). So, I hope you’ll stick around on Twitter and let me entertain you more. The Facebook page will basically just be a community for us discuss Gator football and crack wise. As for this site, it will remain in case I get the itch to blog again and for anyone who’s feeling nostalgic and wants to read some old stories.
Finally, thank you again to everyone who has wasted a little bit of time to read something I’ve written. Whether you loved or hated it, I appreciate it. I love you all and maybe next season I can meet some of you at a game and you can tell me how much I have changed your life.
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman
