So I got a family membership to the local YMCA because my wife thought it would be a good idea if we got some exercise.
As it turns out, she was right. I'm pitifully unfit. I thought to myself that maybe the best way to get fit and lose a few pounds would be to return to swimming. So I've been doing laps at the YMCA's 4-lane pool, which is kept at an oppressively hot temperature - it easily felt like 90 degrees.
As it turns out, the old women doing water aerobics start their class at 8 a.m. I was finishing up my own pathetically slow workout, just cooling down, really, when the lifeguard caught my attention. She was going to remove the lane line - the only barrier between me and the slowly flailing blue-haired geezers. She said that I could continue swimming laps.
I gave her a skeptical look and said, "I'm just finishing up so I'll be out of the way in a minute, but if you remove that lane line those little old ladies are going to move over into my space. Someone's gonna get hurt."
She just smiled and shrugged as if I hadn't said anything at all and pulled the lane line out of the water. Sure enough, several q-tips moved right over into "my" space and I headed right for them. Now, I'm not a monster. I didn't actually run them over, or even touch them. But I did have to zig-zag around them just to get back to the wall where my stuff was.
Boy, I would have been pissed if I were actually still in the middle of a workout. I'm starting to second-guess this whole YMCA thing. It wasn't so bad last week when I went during lunch. I got to share a lane with a retard and an 80-year-old Italian guy who floated more than he swam. Even though they were slowly drifting up and down the pool (in contrast to my uncontrolled thrashing), they stayed out of my way and I stayed out of theirs. How is it that the retard and the old guy who barely speaks English have more sense than the 20-year-old lifeguard?
My life is SO difficult.
It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine
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Jabberdave
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:55 pm
It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine
The warm water is probably from all the pee.
It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine
I wouldn't be surprised if that water registered a perfect 98.6 degrees.
You'd think they would have the common courtesy to keep their diapers on.
You'd think they would have the common courtesy to keep their diapers on.
