We are often imitated, but never duplicated. If you are looking to have fun and relax this is the place for you. Cuttlefish from all walks of life retreat here for tales and buttplugs. Gator or not you are welcome here if you want to have fun, relax and earn MASSIVE REP STARS!!1! Step right on in, folks, and savor the circlejerk.
(203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I?d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
(662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
(609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
(856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days
(973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
(248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
